Laurie Skillern

Let me preface this with saying that I do believe that there is a God.

I have always felt I have had a relationship with God. Maybe that is because I was raised in the church. Maybe it is something that is ingrained in us from birth. I don’t know. I have always felt there is something bigger (God) out there that we will never be able to understand. Although I abandoned Him for a few years and was living in sin, I came back and had a pretty close relationship with Him until recently. I’m not sure what changed or why it changed. Maybe it is Satan is worming his way into my thoughts and heart but lately I feel like I’m just going through the motions. You know – being good, going to church and even singing in the choir but I’m not feeling close to Him at all. It’s like He’s not there anymore. Where is He? Where is He when a six month old baby girl gets raped by her father? Where is He when His believers are living in constant pain? Where is He when the earth shakes and hundreds of thousands are killed? Where is He when one of His followers is murdered and the killers go unknown? I know, the standard reply to my questions is that it is not for us to know the reasons why but you know what? I don’t accept that anymore. I want to know why! I want to know that we have a caring, loving God and not the sadistic, cruel God that He seems to be lately.